Some days you are travelling or just so caught up in life events that by the end of the day you are physically exhausted and brain-dead (almost!). However, thanks to ‘internet-inspired-writing’ there is always some forward or e-mail you can use for your blog! And so today i remembered these humorous laws and axioms of life gathered from here and there. When we were young, there was a Murphy’s Law that could be quoted for most situations. Much research has gone into that simple statement about the perceived perversity of the world. Since people first heard that axiom ~”Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong”~ thousands of corollaries and variations have been incorporated into various situations of life. Some are attributed to a particular person, others are just part of popular culture. They are not and can never be part of serious academia but they sure help you laugh at everyday vagaries of life!
#1. First Law of Living:
As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you’ll want to be doing something else.
#2. The Salary Axiom:
The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
#3. Miller’s Law of Insurance:
Insurance covers everything except what happens.
#4. Weiner’s Law of Libraries:
There are no answers, only cross references.
#5. Isaac’s Strange Rule of Staleness:
Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale.
Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.
#6. The Grocery Bag Law:
The chocolate bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market
is always hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.
#7. Lampner’s Law of Employment:
When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot!
#8. Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
#9. Law of Gravity:
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner of the room.(It even applies to those small screws you use to keep your earrings in place!)
#10. First Law for Wives:
If you ask your husband to pick up 5 items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget 2 of the first 5!
#11. The Doctor’s visit law:
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor; and sure enough by the time you get there you’ll feel better. But if you don’t make that appointment, you’ll stay sick for a long long time.
#12. The Variation Law:
If you change waiting lines or traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. (Almost everyone i know will vouch that this one works every time including the fact that the lane you choose at the toll will turn out to be the slowest!)
#13. Von fumbles law:
When one wishes to unlock a door but has only has one hand free, the keys are in the opposite pocket.
#14. Yale law of destiny:
The apartment door will snap shut only when you have left the keys inside.
#15. Destiny-awaits law:
When things seem easy to do, it’s because you haven’t followed all the instructions.
#16. Einstein’s law of persistence:
Most problems are not created nor solved, they only change appearances.
#17. Law of wasteland:
If there are only two programs on TV that are worth your time, they will always be at the same time.
#18. Law of Campbell scoop:
The probability that one will spill food on one’s clothes is directly proportional to the need to be clean.
#19. The docking principle:
Wind velocity will increase proportionally to the cost of one’s hairdo.
#20. Law of fatal irreversibility:
If you discard something not used for years, you will need it one week later.
#21. The one theory of ‘absolute-certainty’:
Do not take life too seriously, because in the end, you won’t come out alive anyway!!
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