A good proverb is like a foot-bridge-troll, short statured, sturdy and armed with a vicious bite
To see “the world in a grain of sand” or should i say to “encapsulate the sagacity of experience in a few words”…well that’s what people have been trying to do ever since language came into use as a tool of communication. Pithy sentences that express wise words to remember have been coined in every culture and language. You can call them proverbs, aphorisms, epigrams or sayings, they manage to convey interesting and at times profound insights.
And then there are humorous takes—anti-proverbs if you can call them that—on the wisdom of the ages. Here is a collection of contemporary ‘wisdom’, a modern take on proverbs, an axiomatic comic understanding of life-truths :
~ Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
~ Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic
~ Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
~ A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
~ A closed mouth gathers no feet
~ If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
~ My idea of house work is to sweep the room with a glance. (like that one!)
~ A bird can love a fish, but then where will they live?
~ If you break it, you buy it.
~ Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
~ It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
~ For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
~ If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip! (loved this!!)
~ Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.
~ Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques!
~ A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
~ Eat well, stay fit—die anyway.
~ No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
~ A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
~ Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.(hahaha!!)
~Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
~ Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
~ There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
~ Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
~ By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
~ Thou shalt not weigh more than your refrigerator.
~ I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when i’m in the bathroom.
~ Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused!!